Our past is always present

Grace to you

Last week we were invited to start again. The gracious and hopeful invitation encapsulated in the word ‘repent’ – a word that if it weren’t so gracious would sue for deformation of character, seen as it is more often spoken as a threat than a gift.

To start again however, does not mean that we cut our past off completely. In fact our past is always present. This applies to many things – but today I simply refer to the wounds we carry with us – that no New Year’s Day has the power to say: “Thus far and no further!” We would be wise to remember that even resurrection does not wipe away the wounds of crucifixion. ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side – says Jesus to Thomas.’

Around this time of year we may have already experienced the stubborn lingering of grief or guilt or anxiety that no New Year’s Day could prevent from following us further into our future. If this is the case, it is a good time to be reminded of our Baptism – as we do each year this time. To recall the indelible watermark of our Heavenly spoken identity: ‘You are my beloved in whom I am well pleased.’ This too follows us into our future – faithfully and steadfastly declaring ‘you are lovable’.

I recommend a poem by Jeff Foster as a helpful companion if we find ourselves as the walking wounded. He speaks truthfully about trauma
and healing:

“You do not heal ‘from’ trauma.
You simply come to know yourself
as Life Itself.
And you turn towards the wounded place.
And you flush it with attention,
which is Love.
And maybe the wound will always be with you.
Maybe you will always walk with the hurt.
But now, you hold it. It doesn’t hold you.
You are the container, not the contained.
It doesn’t control you any longer, the wound.
Because it is drenched in awareness now.
Drenched in You.
Loved by You.
Even celebrated by You.

You do not heal ‘from’ trauma.
You find healing ‘in’ the trauma.
You find yourself at trauma’s sacred core.
The One who is always present.
The One who can bear
even the most intense feeling states.
And survive.

The Indestructible One.
The Infinite One.
The Powerful One.
You.”

Grace,
Alan