In the end it's all about love

In the end it’s all about love

May 13, 2018  |  Ascension, Sunday Letter

Grace and peace to you

Here are a few ‘love’ quotes from Bell Hooks’ book: All About Love that I referred to in last week’s message:

Love is as love does. [p14]

No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively. [p22]

Without justice there can be no love… The heart of justice is truth telling, seeing ourselves and the world the way it is rather than the way we want it to be. [p33] Estrangement from feelings makes it easier for men to lie… [p39] When men lie to women, presenting a false self, the terrible price they pay to maintain “power over” us is the loss of their capacity to give and receive love. [p41]

It is no easy task to be self-loving. [p54] Simply learning how we have acquired feelings of worthlessness rarely enables us to change things; it is usually only one stage in the process. [p54] When we see love as a combination of trust, commitment, care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility,… we can learn to extend them to ourselves. [p54]

In an ideal world we would all learn in childhood to love ourselves. We would grow, being secure in our worth and value, spreading love wherever we went, letting our light shine. If we did not learn self-love in our youth, there is still hope. The light of love is always in us, no matter how cold the flame. [p68]

I know of no one who has embraced a love ethic whose life has not become joyous and more fulfilling. The widespread assumption that ethical behaviour takes the fun out of life is false. [p88]

The choice to love is a choice to connect – to find ourselves in the other. [p93]

Domination cannot exist in any social situation where a love ethic prevails. [p98]

The will to sacrifice on behalf of another, always present when there is love, is annihilated by greed. [p117]

Greed subsumes love and compassion; living simply makes room for them. [p125]

The more genuine our romantic loves the more we do not feel called upon to weaken or sever ties with friends in order to strengthen ties with romantic partners. Trust is the heartbeat of genuine love. [p135]

Like many men, he wanted a woman to be “just like his mama” so that he did not have to do the work of growing up. [p149]

Sadly, love will not prevail in any situation where one party wants to maintain control… At least when you hold to the dynamics of power you never have to fear the unknown; you know the rules of the power game… The practice of love offers no place to hide. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control. [p153]

The practice of love takes time. [p162]

…was I able to give the love I want to receive? [p172]

The heartbeat of true love is the willingness to reflect on one’s actions, and to process and communicate this reflection with the loved one. [p185]

Many men, especially, often turn away from true love and choose relationships in which they can be emotionally withholding when they feel like it but still receive love from someone else. Ultimately, they choose power over love. To know and keep true love we have to be willing to surrender the will to power. [p187]

No matter what has happened in our past, when we open our hearts to love we can live as if born again, not forgetting the past but seeing it in a new way, letting it live inside us in a new way. [p209]

Grace, Alan

 

Blessed Mothering Sunday!


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